aLL bY mYseLf

have been having a bout of depression for a few days now "loneliness so dark and hard it cracks the spine to even think of it the blues hit so hard they crack your ribs, snap your spine, splatter your brains on the ceiling, drive you to drink, love, trust and crawl." -aldhee rollins these bouts are coming more and more often. it is not like i wake up every day remembering how alone i am, but sometimes i do. but not to worry... i am not going to drink my way through this... not like i used to do... thank you to audreytot and shelatot for the 'one day at a time' thing. I had always thought it was corny, which it is... but it seems to work. You are right, do not say 'i am not drinking anymore,' eversince naman yata eh di ako talaga shot.. because you will go crazy. Just say 'I am not drinking tonight.'I will be back in a day or two... wednesday night i will have a review of lakehouse... y'all should stop by hydee's blogs (it is on my links) and welcome her back. ( i love you so much ***** )". the only one i can blame for my loneliness is myself. even if i could make myself believe that she did it to me, i wouldn't feel any better... she did not break my heart... i did.i don't know why i would do something this painful to myself... i wish i would stop.many days i wake up dead, put my face on and hit the door.everyone will leave you sometime..."alfred's rollins"people worry about kids playing violent video games or watching violent movies, but no one worries about kids listening to thousands, literaly thousands of songs about heartbreak, lonliness and despare...did i listen to pop music because i was miserable, or was i miserable because i listen to pop music?"- john cusac in the movie 'high fidelity' one of my favorites.along with the line, 'if you really wanted to mess me up, you should have gotten to me earlier!' Got to go for now...

(Taken from christian unite.com) While distributing Christian literature, Pastor M. Aharon, was mercilessly assaulted by a group of militant Hindus. He was assaulted for converting Hindus and Muslims to Christianity. His face was covered with blood from heavy blows to his mouth and nose. He survived the brutal attack at the hands of Hindu radicals in the town of Nizamabad, Andhra Pradesh, located about 300 miles east of Bombay in central India. During this violent incident, a mob of over 100 Hindu radicals cheered and yelled in support of the attack on Pastor Aharon, inciting the rest of the crowd to turn against him. Police stood by as the extensive attack was being carried out, and the constables even prevented the pastor from escaping. Only after Aharon could barely hold himself up did police begin to escort him from the tumultuous scene. They carried out their attack plan as a secret mission to keep other pastors from spreading the gospel in India. Pastor Aharon, who has led 700 Hindus and Muslims to Christ and has established 12 churches in this community, has outraged radical Hindus and Muslims. When a VOM contact asked Pastor Aharon what was going through his mind during the attack, he said, "I remembered Christ and many others persecuted for their faith in the last twenty centuries." Every month The Voice of the Martyrs reports on what is really happening around the world where our brothers and sisters are persecuted for their faith in Jesus Christ. Now you can receive a free subscription to The Voice of the Martyrs award winning monthly newsletter. You will be inspired, you will learn to pray and even discover practical ways to get involved. Sign up today you can subscribe with this link http://etools.ncol.com/a/jgro... godbless you

LIVING ALIVE

By Dero Pedero
The Philippine STAR 02/28/2006

A few days ago, I received a text message from a
friend who is in town from Los Angeles that read:
"Hi Dero! How is life treating you?" I texted him
back saying everything’s fine and that we must see
each other soon.

Later, as I scrolled through my phone’s contacts
file, I saw the name of a friend living in Dipolog
City whom I haven’t heard from for sometime. I
decided to send him a how-are-you-doing text and
without meaning to be a copycat, asked the very
same "how is life treating you" query.

After sending the text, I realized that the often
used phrase "How is life treating you?" is such a
lame question. The truth is that life is what you
make of it by the second, by the minute, from day
to day. Thus, the right and pro-active question
is: "How are you treating life?"

Most of us complain about how hard life is. We
wake up to what we call the "daily grind," where
we expect to be ground and grilled. Instead of
whining and focusing on the negatives, we must be
thankful that we are blessed with the chance to
experience this ride that not everyone is lucky
enough to endure and enjoy.

How must we treat life? We must regard it with awe
and gratefulness. We should celebrate it and at
the same time, push ourselves to greatness. Life
is not something that just comes to you; it is
something you work for. Be careful about how you
treat life because how you do is how it will treat
you!

If life throws you a lemon, make a lemonade. Life
will not always be rosy and sweet. When a bitter
experience comes, sweeten it and turn it to
something good.

The only time you really have is now. Stay away
from the "someday when things are better" and "the
good old days were better" mentality. Life is
fragile; yesterday is gone and tomorrow might not
come. Go for your heart’s desires right now.

Surround yourself with joyful friends and
possessions. Indulge in life’s joys and pleasures.
Value people, friendships, and relationships;
surround yourself with love, beauty, and joy.

A problem or difficulty is but another bump on the
road. Every now and then, a truly trying time
comes. You must view it as another bump to hurdle
on the way to your sweet destiny.

It is better to hope than to despair. Some events
in life take us down to the depths of depression,
hopelessness, and gloom. Why focus on the mud when
you can look at the stars?

If you need love, you must give it first. Many of
us complain about being alone. And, yes, many are
lonely even in a crowd. If you don’t give, you
won’t receive. Loveless is he who cannot love.

The way you live is a choice. You may live in a
box yet fix it up like a castle. You may not be a
millionaire, but you can live like one. All it
takes is your imagination. Remember that life is
lived by your own design.

Don’t wait for miracles; create them. Most of us
sit through the day waiting for a savior or a
miracle worker. Don’t hesitate to create magic in
your life. These days, even stars and celebrities
are made, not born.

Listen to your heart and follow your dreams. Only
you know your innermost wishes and desires. In
truth, you know more than you think you do. Let
your heart and soul guide you to your heaven on
earth.

Don’t postpone happiness. We are always
procrastinating, leaving the fulfillment of our
dreams to some distant future. A day away from
happiness is a day of emotional vacuum. Go for
happiness right now.

Love the life you are living. They say that the
greatest joy comes from loving the life you are
living. Most of us are not happy with the life we
lead. Learn to love yourself, what you have, and
the people you share life with.

Be grateful for every breath and rejoice with each
new day. Life is precious and priceless. Live life
to the fullest, be the best that you can be, be a
source of love, inspiration, and joy, and always
think what a lucky person you are!

 THINK ABOUT IT!